Hello Kiddo!

Yes. I'm talking to you. The one by the empty gas can.


Did you miss me? It would be hard to, right? I've been absoLUtely everywhere these past few months. Don't let that put a frown on your fickle face. I've something...new...I think you might enjoy. You see, the me you've been reading about, the one with the inadequate new moll and bottomless money? He wasn't supposed to be here before me.


If you can, remember back to when the best thing Bat-Boy could do is appear in the Weekly World News, or sit in a chair. I know you'll do your best after all. You've got your own chair right here, the ropes are awfully tight, and that's not soda dripping down your leg.


In the before times, when Doomsday Clocks ticked over years instead of hours, Shazam was a 'monthly', and Stargirl wasn't a TV show, it seems Mr. Bat-tastic was told I was not a me, but a three, and finally here we be. There is one small problem. I do have friends, and my friends are me, and we'd like you to so very badly to remember horrible things we've done that we're running a veritable A to Gaggy of including all the hits. Even the ones to the kid.


If I told you that I spend my evenings with myself and myself in a cabin, there simply isn't a way you wouldn't read it, faults and all, and there ARE faults, but much like watching a movie I tend to ignore the parts I don't like and focus on the ones I do.

I can see you're getting all antsy the darker things get, so I'll just light a match for you. Gonna see my old pal Jason. Seems he's been under a strain. We'll have a right old chat.