GI Joe A Real American Hero #278 (2010) cover b

Truth be told I have not read a GI Joe comic in many many years. I have not read a Larry Hama Marvel continuity issue in nearly 160 issues or around 30 years. In that time I have come to really dislike 90% of licensed property comics. That dislike comes from having to use comics as essentially ad space to sell said property. Nearly every Army of Darkness comic Ash says "Groovy" 10 times. At least 1 Star Wars character has "a bad feeling about this" all the time. This type of "contained" story telling usually results in super stilted dialogue that always reminds me I'm reading a comic and interrupts the story ruining my escapism away from the horrors of real life. Lately I have been searching for more and more nostalgia related escapisms as things are always way too end of the world nowadays. Enter this issue of GI Joe. Cover B has Lowlight on it, in a homage to the great Gil Kane Avengers #145 cover. I loved Lowlight, he was and is my favorite Joe, and third favorite GI Joe character period. That was my first mistake. If I bothered to look at cover A or read the solicitation, I would have known that this issue is a winter battle. Lowlight is barely in it. And when he is, he's the only character that is not wearing snow gear, leading to mistake?/ complaint/ dislike #2. At first I was amazed by the artwork and coloring, it reminded of the cartoon so much. Too much actually, after awhile it was almost annoying as everything was so on model that any artistic choices stuck out like sore thumbs. Why is Lowlight the only guy without snow gear? Because his model sheet is sniper uniform, that's why. When a Cobra guy is killed, it is a great silhouetted panel of death. Which next to all the bright and cartoon like colors really stuck out. And not in a good way. And yes before anyone asks, random Cobra troopers die. Violently die. Some are blown up and 2 are sniped through the head. Very shocking compared to the cartoon like elements of the rest of the issue. And coming full circle, the awful sounding dialogue. Every character is called by their name in every discussion. Every weapon, every vehicle, everything is labeled for your the readers benefit. As if you could not remember a Firebat is called a Firebat after the third time on one page it is called a Firebat. Firebat. Super jilting. And when the hostage mentions she was "brutally" forced to help Cobra? The Joes don't even acknowledge she said something? Because we only have 22 minutes to finish the episode (oops) the issue. She at least gets a winter coat, poor Lowlight. At least Lowlight is crazy badass and confirms that he is the best. I beg Disney to buy GI Joe from IDW and give it a Star Wars reboot. Wow, this was so bad, I want to give Disney more money... what a day.